Do you know your love language?
A few years ago, I read a book that would change my life. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman has to be one of the best relationship related books I have ever read (and that’s saying A LOT as I’ve read A LOT).
In the book, Gary Chapman tells the reader about the fact there are five “love languages” and that each of us have a preference towards one or two. According to Chapman, the five love languages are:
- Words of affirmation: for example, saying “I love you”
- Physical touch: that little hug or tap on the bum you might give your partner
- Acts of service: getting him or her that cup of tea or doing something nice for them
- Quality time: spending that uninterrupted time together when you’re both present
- Gifts: the act of giving something to your partner.
A few years ago, my partner and I both took the quiz to find out what our preferred love languages are and ever since reflecting on the languages that both myself and my partner speak, I can honestly say it has improved our relationship and how we show and receive love from one another.
Here are some personal reflections on how an awareness of love languages has changed my relationship:
- I’m more in tune with how he’s showing love. Now that I know my partner speaks mainly in ‘acts of service’ I can recognise the little ways every day he shows love in his own way. Even those little things, like hanging up my washing, stand out to me now.
- He makes the effort to speak my language and vice versa. When we realised that showing your partner love in a language they don’t speak as fluently will never resonate as strongly, we’ve both made an effort to speak each other’s native tongue. I try to do more acts of service and he tries to speak more words of affirmation.
- Awareness of communication break-down. Sometimes when I feel we’re not as close as we were a few weeks ago, I look at the ways we’ve each been demonstrating love. More often than not, I see that perhaps I’ve not been around as much, and quality time has dwindled or perhaps he’s not saying those little things that I like to hear as much. More often than not, once one of us puts in an extra effort, the other reciprocates.
If you would like to find out more about the 5 love languages and the work of Gary Chapman or perhaps do a quiz to find out what language you prefer to speak, visit https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
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