Do you make this Online Dating mistake?

Audrey Claire, My Wingwoman Founder & Coach
May 13, 2019

Online Dating is the newest of what I call the “Four Domains” of modern dating. On the surface, online dating apps seem to be getting easier to use. As simple as they seem, to get the most out of them, it does help to know HOW to use them to their full potential. One of the most BIGGEST online dating mistakes is also one of the most common. Can you guess what it is?

One of the most common online dating mistakes is…




If you’re starting your chats with any of the following (or something very similar), then there is some serious room for improvement:

  • “HEY”
  • ‘hey, nice pics’
  • ‘Hey, how’s it going’
  • ‘Hi’
  • ‘Hi, how r u?’

If you open your chats this way, it doesn’t matter if you’re 21, 71, male, female, gay or straight; you’re not doing yourself any favours.

Starting your chat like this is the online equivalent of walking up to someone at a party, saying ‘hi’, then proceeding to stare at them blankly until they say something interesting.

Jokes aside, this is an easy mistake to make and don’t worry, if you’re guilty of making this one, you’re definitely not alone!    And I get it – it can be hard to put yourself out there, it can be hard to think of what to say and all of this gets TIRING!

So why is this SUCH A BIG MISTAKE?

  1. It’s boring.
  2. You’re missing your first opportunity to stand out from the crowd right from from the get-go. Don’t forget that you’re unlikely to be the ONLY person they’re receiving a message from.
  3. It doesn’t encourage a response. By starting your chat in such a boring way, you’re making it WAY harder for the other person to respond. You’ve put the ball in their court to think of a better response.
  4. It comes across lazy and disengaged, even if you don’t mean it this way.
  5. Poor effort = poor outcomes. You’re putting in minimal effort in your first advance towards them, why should they bother to respond?


So what do I do instead?

I’ve created a simple formula to help prompt you on the makings of a great opener.


Make an Observation, pay him or her a genuine Compliment and finish with a Question

You can do all of this in just a couple sentences. It doesn’t need to be a LONG message. Just take a moment to look at their profile, their pictures and note what stands out to you about them.

Here’s a few simple examples:

Hi Michael 🙂 You seem very well travelled. I love that photo of you on that beautiful beach. Cheeky! Where was it taken?

Hi Belinda! I notice we share a love of animals. Gorgeous pic of you with that Lab. Is he/she yours?

If you’d like some more tips to improve your online dating skills, why not book a personalised masterclass with My Wingwoman?

Contact to enquire today about our Online Dating Profile service.

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