The Four Domains of finding love
If you’re single and searching for love, it can be a huge advantage to be truly in touch with all the ways you can find it. So, let’s talk about the four domains of finding love…
For some singles, the word ‘search’ is a dirty word.
However, my strong opinion is that the suggestion that actively searching for love is in any way less honourable is complete rubbish.
Imagine if we treated almost any other aspect of our lives this way. Should the ideal job just land in our laps? Do we expect to just ‘naturally’ keep ourselves in shape past a certain age?
Sure, love can sometimes come easily if we’re very lucky – but if we expect to get anywhere by doing nothing about it when it doesn’t, we’re doing ourselves a complete disservice.
Make no mistake, there are three things I have come to believe are fundamental to finding love as a mature grown-up:
1. Deciding to make romantic love a real priority in your life.
2. Clarity on exactly what type of person meets your standard
3. Nurturing the four domains in which you can search for, and ultimately find love within
So, what are these four domains?
1. SOMEONE: the domain in which we find love through the friends, family and personal connections we have in our lives.
2. PRO-ACTIVE: the domain where we take pro-active measures such as online dating, speed-dating or meet-ups to find a mate.
3. OUT-AND-ABOUT: this domain is about meeting someone by chance while out at a bar, café or quite literally anywhere else as you go about your day.
4. THINGS YOU LOVE: finding love through a passion or interest such as at the gym, a language class, during volunteer work or any other passion in your life.
If finding and falling in love is already at the top of your priority list, now is the time to get serious about nurturing these domains.
To figure out how well you are already nurturing each domain, reflect on the following questions. If your answer is ‘no’ or ‘maybe’ to one or more questions within each domain, there could be some unrealised opportunity for you in that area.
- Do you mostly associate with people you respect and admire?
- Do you have a circle of friends that expose you to new people and rewarding experiences? This could be as simple as new passions or hobbies or social events.
- Are you open to making new friends and connections?
- Have you attended a social event in the last two months where you didn’t know the majority of people there?
- Do you have an active online dating profile?
- Have you had input from someone you trust to be honest with you about how your profile could improve (eg. Photos or text)?
- Is at least one pro-active activity part of a regular routine for you?
- Are you out-and-about alone occasionally (for example eating alone)?
- Do you send positive and approachable signals when you’re in a space you’d welcome an approach?
- Do you recognise it when someone is flirting with you?
Things you love
- Do you have passions or hobbies outside of work you engage with regularly?
- Have your passions or interests resulted in new acquaintances or friendship circles?
- Are you open to discovering new sides to yourself and learning new things?
© My Wingwoman 2019
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