The no.1 thing men look for before committing

Audrey Claire, My Wingwoman Founder & Coach
Mar 27, 2019

One of my favourite questions to ask men in happy relationships is: “how did you know she was the one?”

Men often answer with variations on the same response…

We could have fun together.

Men want to be able to have fun with the woman in their life. It sounds ridiculously simple and obvious, but it’s something a lot of women forget as they mature and start to look for more grown-up traits in their man.  Women often look for security, maturity, ambition and other qualities that will make him a stable husband and potential father of her children. Women check for signs of good partnership potential first, fun-potential often comes second.

Men are the opposite, they look for fun-potential first and partnership comes later.

Men are looking for someone they can laugh with, do fun things with and generally enjoy the simple pleasures with. I sometimes describe it to my female clients this way:

Just imagine inside every man is a young boy searching for his school yard playmate, except now he’s looking for one with boobs.

So, if you’re looking to date and end up in a committed relationship with a man of your choosing, it helps if he sees you as a quality playmate.

This is why it’s important to keep it light early on. Of course, it’s okay to talk about some important topics and ask some insightful questions but while you might be screening him on things like his family values, his maturity and his ability to look after himself and behave like a grown up, HE’S walking away from each date answering one question: do I have fun with this woman?

Here are some ways you can let your playful side shine in the first few dates with a man:

  1. Talk about things you’re passionate about that light you up from the inside-out. For example, if you’re a passionate overseas traveller, talk about the next trip you’d love to go on or your favourite experiences so far.
  2. Take charge of planning a fun date. If you both love chocolate, suggest going on a chocolate tasting. If you love dogs, take your date to the dog park followed by coffee or lunch. Whether he says it or not, he will be taking you and your passion for life in. This is super attractive!
  3. Let him know when he’s getting it right. In the early stages of dating, when he does or says something you really appreciate – let him know! Show him that you’re a positive and appreciative person who isn’t afraid to express yourself in whatever ways come naturally – with words, with a smile, with a wink or even a little gift.
  4. Laugh – it might sound simple but SMILE and LAUGH at every opportunity. Don’t be surprised when he starts to reciprocate, relax and enjoy the dates with you even more as a result.



© My Wingwoman 2018

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